Sometimes you really hate being an Indian. Like really hate.
No, we’re not awful people. But the thing is, we’re basically all Slytherins, if you know what I mean. There’s an awe-inspiring amount of ambition, but that same ambition can be soul-crushing when it’s not entirely your own. You’ve got to be the best - at everything - or else you’ll end up “flipping burgers at McDonald's.”
So how do we avoid the dreaded McDonald’s? Go to a good college. Obviously.
But it’s not that simple. Obviously.
According to the Indian Parent™, the only way to get into a good college (read: Ivy League - what else?) is to be the best at everything. Anything less is unacceptable. Your every action from the first day of middle school to the last of high school must be perfect. You’ve got to be in all-honors classes, especially in the maths and sciences. If you're not, you'll be overridden - and even that's not enough. “You ought to be taking AP classes*” by now. After all, some of your peers are.
As for grades, I got my first C the past year. Surprisingly, it wasn't Humanities that earned me the grade. It was Bio. The one class I felt confident I could ace. Real thrilling. So anyway, while I'm internally destroying myself for getting a C, my parents are externally destroying me for getting a C. Well, my dad, not so much. He scraped past college in India, where a fail is a 40. My mom, on the other hand, was top ten of her graduating class. . . at NYU. C’s don't get you into NYU, let alone nearly valedictorian at NYU. So I’ve kinda sorta maybe got to ace all my classes. That ought to tell you what the grade situation has to be.
Of course, that isn't enough. Since when is it ever? In This Year of 2020, the average college student is a child prodigy, has reached the national level of at least one competition, and has turned their community upside-down.
So no pressure there.
Most of us aren't rocket scientists, bringing us to the alternate Indian solution: do everything. Ev-er-y-thing.
Breaking that down, “everything” consists of four main categories (besides school): extracurriculars and clubs, arts, sports, and volunteering.
From the age of ten, I've been volunteering for a charity called Ekal Vidyalaya, which builds and funds schools in South Asia. At the age of ten, volunteering isn't generally your greatest priority. But with our logic, it is. The longer we do something, the better our chances of getting into a first-rate college. As an Indian, that mindset never hasn't made sense to me, and it took me twelve or thirteen years to fully realize how unusual that was.
Aside from volunteering from age ten, “doing everything” isn't that far out of the ordinary. It’s fairly normal (I think). But the Indian MethodTM really diverges from the regular people method when it comes to competitions: we play to win. There's really no other way of putting it - second best isn't something we do.
The last debate of middle school. My team breezes through the first two rounds, only to come up against the reigning CTMSDL1 champions in the third. Now, at this point, you’re thinking, obviously, they’re going to pull through with some heroic victory; otherwise this story wouldn't even be here. Well, you’re only partly right. We do miraculously win the round, making us one of about twelve 3-0 teams. But by Indian standards, we DIE. Our debate club holds the title of “biggest club in the school;” regardless, we’re usually at the top. This time, we’re third in the club, team-wise. Two other teams have managed to edge us out for the top spot.
Once the debate’s over, people congratulate them, not us, even though we were the ones who beat the first-place team. At home, my parents tell me what I'm telling you: “you've got to be at the top. Otherwise, people forget about you.*” And when people forget about you, it means that you’re nothing special, nothing remarkable. It means that there’s nothing that distinguishes you, that makes you better than thousands of others.
It means you're average.
And “average” isn't what people look for. The only way to succeed, to get into the college you want - besides becoming a rocket scientist by the age of twelve or being a billionaire - is to be at the top. No - to be the top.
However, once we’ve gotten into a reputable college, somewhere that's not Norwalk Community College, the questions still linger. Now what? What should I major in? What kind of jobs should I aim for?
At the age of six, I idolized Lightning McQueen. I must have had at least a hundred different toy cars, all neatly lined up, a cascade of bright colors and wheels. I made up stories, raced them, and believe it or not, made a car hospital out of legos. And as you can expect from a child obsessed with race cars, I wanted to drive them.
As Indians, however, we don't have much choice when it comes to what we want to do for the rest of our lives. How many Indian composers or authors have you seen? Now, compare that to the number of Indian professors or engineers. With the exception of acting, we Indians have little wiggle room outside of STEM fields. You don't often see us painting cityscapes, but go to IBM, and the place swarms with Indians. So, that race-car-driver dream of mine? Yeah, it was tolerated . . . at the age of six. In the end, it’s as big a no-no as disliking samosas2.
In our eyes, STEM epitomizes the best. With its floor-to-ceiling glass windows and aura of sophistication and class, it not only embodies the zenith of innovation, but also represents wealth, fame, and luxury. The one place you can accumulate both money and power without straying from the moral high ground; the one place anyone can become a global phenom.
Simply put, everyone knows Larry Page, Jeff Bezos, and the Steves (Jobs and Wozinak). Robert Frank, Adrian Piper, and Lesely Barber, not so much. So, if your career path is yet undecided, you can't go wrong with STEM.
If your passions lie elsewhere, however, you risk being mocked and potentially disowned - unless, like Farhan3, you can convince your parents otherwise. Nonetheless, become the best in your field, and soon enough, the ridicule will end and you may become an idol. You might even have a movie made about you!
Alas, “be the best” and “do everything” are real broad, real ambitious goals. Sure, they do make you feel like giving up and moving to Finland sometimes. But they work.
They make you stronger, they make you resilient, they make you relentless, and they make you willing to do anything to succeed. They work.
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*translated from Hindi
Glossary:
1CTMSDL - Connecticut Middle School Debate League.
2Samosa - a (very) popular Indian snack. They are made of a triangular, crispy, bread-like crust traditionally filled with potatoes, peas, and spices, although the filling can vary - it’s basically a sin to not love them.
3Farhan - one of the three main characters of The 3 Idiots4. He goes to college to become an engineer but ends up a wildlife photographer - without being disowned.
4The 3 Idiots - the most amazing, saddest, funniest movie of all times. Watch it. Subtitles are permitted.